Dreaming in an Alternate Reality

I had this dream, and in this dream James was alive. I’ve had this dream more than once and each time it was a surprise to see him alive. Most times I was filled with resentment that he would stage and pretend he was dead, but was really still alive.

But this time was different. In this dream he was about to get married to a lovely, and I must say, attractive woman. I could tell he was eager to introduce me to her. She appeared to be quite jealous of the fact that I used to be his wife. So jealous, she was even contemplating not getting married.

We had a beautifully warm conversation in which I explained to her that although I had been James ‘s wife I was not in love with him. She took a sigh of relief, and decided that since she is, there was no need for her to retreat. We laughed, hugged in our relief of resign.

I had a conversation with James about how angry I was at him that he was pretending to be dead but living well somewhere else. I expressed to him how everyone felt deeply saddened by his death and yet he was really not dead. He was surprised to hear that people presumed he was dead.

When I woke I realized that he was alive and well in an alternate reality about to get remarried.

Note: James Turner, born January 4, 1944 died December 16, 1976. He took the name Idrissa just before we married in 1974. He was a master of tai chi and an impeccable boxer. His death was ruled a suicide, but everyone knew he was murdered in Las Tablas, New Mexico.

Most of the time when he enters my dream state, it is around the time of his death and birth on this plain. Always alive, and I always angry at him for being presumably dead. I give thanks for the love he was able to share and the love he didn’t share, as my fate would have been the same as his. (More on this later.)

One response to “Dreaming in an Alternate Reality”

  1. This is so touching, written so beautifully, and brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing. Love.

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